Don’t think you can just strut off the catwalk and onto the courts of the US Open with these retro, Pharrell Williams designed tennis outfits and think I’m not going to have something to say about them. I mean, usually my beef is with Nike, since they are obviously out to get me. But you! You couldn’t stand Nike getting all of the attention, so you had to throw in this 80’s inspired, primary color apparel kit into the mix. Well played, Adidas! Well played.
I am convinced that you used this extended version of Toni Basil’s Mickey video from 1982 as the inspiration for the collection.
So let’s break this down, shall we.
First up…the women’s dresses.
This first dress, worn here by Simona Halep, is a pretty cute, smart use of the color blocking. It’s got the retro collar and pleated tennis skirt, just like a cheerleader from 1982. I give it a solid 8 out 10.
Photo credit: ESPN
This second tennis dress, worn here by Angelique Kerber, is a little ho-hum (yawn…cat nap time, wake me up before you go go). The white front panel and the A-line shape is a bit nondescript. But I totally dig the visor. I give this one a 6 out of 10.
Photo credit: Adidas
Now on to the men!
This first outfit. Oh, I don’t even know where to start! There is no excuse for this. I understand that Sascha Zverev is trying to make a statement at this US Open since he is a possible favorite to win. And I understand that he got the coveted first round, opening night session. But please Sascha, make your statement in your mad tennis skills, not through this ridiculous outfit. Perhaps each piece separately is not too bad. The shirt…meh. The shorts, I get it. They go with the whole color blocking theme. The headband, I know that’s your thing. But the socks! Really, the high tube socks? No! Just no! You are not Larry Bird and this is not 1980. The socks alone drops this entire look to a 3 out of 10.
Photo credit: ESPN
The second look, modeled here by Dominic “Sweep the Leg” Theim, is the men’s version of the color blocked t-shirt. Could my brother have worn this in 1983 and been a cool kid at school? Probably. Could Dominic wear this at the US Open in 2017 and win a match or two? Of course. It’s a solid 7 out of 10.